A stalker!!!

Omg things are getting scary!! This girl whom I dont know seems to know every single thing I did to my ex. Oh well she's just a girl my ex is going after but I wonder why does she know everything? For example she knows I called my ex when I got back to KL and she also knows that he didnt pick it up. What the heck!

Was chatting with her just now and I remembered she once wanted me to add her in Friendster because my profile can only be viewed by First Degree Friends, which meant to be contacts in my list. Well I didnt know who she was so I didnt add her but I just found out that she wanted to add me just because she wanted to view my profile. Other than that, she also knows about me meeting up with my ex today and we had lunch, the worst part is, she knows about every single thing we talked about.

I feel that she's not only doing all these out of curiousity but jealousy. I can strongly feel that, as a girl, I understand how she thinks, maybe I should keep a distant from my ex so I can save myself from some trouble. I understand that me and him has got nothing related but just friends, but from what experience tells, everyone will still think there is something going on if we still keep contact. Why cant we remain friends if we cant be couple? Perhaps this wont work due to the next girl that's going into his life. I mean, we broke up because feelings faded and we realized we aren't the one that we're searching for in our life, neither him or I cheated. So why cant be friends when u cant be couple?

Okays get back to the topic of my shopping spree!! I bought a MNG bag, FCUK for her perfume, a few Paul Frank t-shirt from FOS, 4 polo tee from PDI, 2 pairs of shoe(pink & silver), a Miss Sixty skirt from FOS, a denim skirt and a pink bag. So far those are what I've bought in 2 days, I still gotta buy a few tops from sg.wang, didnt seem to like the fashion there now, probably because I havent done real shopping for ages and I dont know how to shop anyore. Everything's cheap here, nasi lemak costs rm3.50, cab fee for 15 mins ride costs rm6, back in sydney the initial charge is 2.75 bucks, which is around rm 12 converting it.

Im supposed to feel happy to be home but I am not, Im feeling restricted to do anything, I never like informing people what I do but here I'll always have to inform my parents every single thing I do. I find it real irritating, I sometimes so want to tell them I am 19 and I've been living on my own for the past 3 years, Im independent enough to know what to do and what not to do. They never seem to take me as an adult, Im still a primary school kid to them, I dont know what are there that I can do to prove how independent I am. Or it's because of the bag snatch incident that happened last year, I saw their faces and I know they were very worried bout me and my freedom has got limited access now after that. Before that my freedom was little enough and all thanks to that indian bastard who was trying to bag snatch me, DAMN YOU YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!

Ops, I shouldnt swear here ehh, my mood isnt good as usual, I am missing someone back in Sydney, but that someone is gonna be back to KL in less than 1 week time! I am starting to worry about my results, will I fail?? *Touch Wood* Im not aiming for flying colours result, only for passes, nothing more than that, I wish God could hear me, Im praying hard every night, I only want passes!!

Will keep this blog updated with my shopping spree!! gonna get my hairdo on wed!! Will then post up pics! til laterz!!

Im back to Kay Elle!!

Oh gawd I cant believe I am back here in my home town, Kuala Lumpur. The night before I came home, I went to Gas nightclub on pitt street with hell lotsa people. These are the people who went: Aaron, Serena, JX, Kristy, Danny, Connal, Dennis, Wei, AJ, Mel, Louise, Grace, Jolyn, Alex, Brendan, Sonia, Ian, Liyen, Edward and I. I queued for 40 minutes to get in there, was really stuffed and packed on the dance floor. I had 2 tequila shots and a few mouth full of gin tonic which tastes like shit(haha wasnt getting high thats why). We went to the dance floor upstairs and I had another tequila shot when edward came in about 130am, then followed by vodka redbull, we danced for about 20 mins and edward spent Serena & I for a B52, then after going to the loo, everything was gone and I had qf(quick fuck, the name of the cocktail) with edward. So after all these, I was starting to feel great, kinda blend into the people dancing, but the lousy DJ was repeating the songs again and again so Aaron, Dennis, Edward & I went back down to the other dance floor. We danced a while and Edward & I wanted to play pool, I couldnt break the balls, yeh I was quite high but not to the maximum, probably about 30-40%.

The game couldnt be continued because everyone was leaving, Aaron sent me home with Edward's companion. Wanted to shower before I sleep but I was too tired so I just head off to Dream Land in less than 5 mins time, I guess I was really exhausted because the last time I had vodka redbull, I couldnt sleep til 7am in the morning. I got up at 930am and went down to the reception @ 10am to check out my room. I stinked so badly and my cousin said she could smell me once I got home. After I got everything settled, I took my shower and moved my last bit of stuff to Michael's, we then went to Thai La Ong for lunch(Bernard's idea, saying that Thai La Ong actually has air conditioning system yet it was still damn hot!!)

I think it's the worst time I had in sydney when I was leaving, I had to unpacked my luggage and get chin to bring some of my stuff back to SUV. My luggages were 55kg! How the hell would they weight my hand luggage? I wonder! Things like these never happened, I think I was about to collapse when the guy at the counter wanted me to pay 225 bucks, blardee hell!! All thanks to Chin who was willing to help me and also to Dira who carried my mangoes for me. Oh well after 15 minutes of getting everything out and etc, I checked in and got a seat next to Bernard.

For the whole 8 hours, Bernard & I were looking out from the window, seeing what's down there, talking, laughing, sleeping, it's nice when u have friends to go on board with ya, at least the time passes faster. Food sux, as usual, they were showing this Malay movie called Do Re Mi starring P.Ramlee. I didnt watch the whole thing but part of it, and it really made me laugh!

I had curry laksa once I arrived in KL!! Do the usual thing, came home, unpack all the luggages, came online to chat with bunch of friends til 3am KL time. Cant wait til the next day because I am going shopping with muh dad!

Guess I should stop here, not much to write, will continue tomorrow!!

Am I a weirdo or what?

Sigh, ever since last month, every single thing around me has been changing, although I still get to mix with the people whom I hurt, but there is still a gap in between. It's either I dont know what to say, or I choose to not stick to them. I find myself fake when I stick to them, giving me the feeling of fear, guilty, so on and so forth. It's not to say that I cant put things down, but even when I am trying to be close to them, I can tell that they dont even wanna tag me along for anything, somehow I regret, I shouldnt been so nice, I shouldnt introduce all of them to each another, I'd be happy by then if I didnt do so. I am angry at myself, why did I create all the shit? Why didnt I solve the problem the other way round? If I'd have done so, those so called "close friends" of mine wouldnt leave me behind now.

Close friends, what a term, I always thought its forever, yes for the past 18 years my close friends are still my friends til now, although we might not see each other that often but we never experienced any argument like what had happened. Everyday while I know I will get to see these bunch of people, I am happy, I thought they could be the same but NO, they would not, and I know the problem is in me, when I am with them, I have this feeling that they are all laughing at me. I probably deserved to be treated this way but sigh...Oh nevermind, the world is cruel, maybe its just time for me to learn.

Last night I was watching the clips we have taken, those days were just great. Why did I screw it up? I asked myself again and again with no answer. I really hope they'd forgive me, although I told them it's alright if they dont want to, I now feel the pain when your friend no longer have trust in you, my smile is slowly dissapearing from my face.

Losing this bunch of close friends, mean time I get to know someone else that understands me. People who understands me probably has ideas and thought from the other side of the world. We see things differently and I always need people to analyze a situation for me. I am not sure if anyone notice but I want everyone who's reading this to know that, each time when I see the people I hurt hanging out together, I really wish I could be with them, I dont wanna feel left out, if u guys know what I meant, I promised I will change, I will, really will...

A thousand apologize to a guy & a gal...also to a person whom I didnt hurt but starting to leave me out, I dont know what to say...

Sublime there we go!!

Had so much fun @ Sublime just now, except that I have my Auntie paying me a visit today that made me feel extremely tired even though I slept like a pig in the evening. Other than that, it also brought me something called the period cramp. Sound bad ehh? Well at least I got to enjoy in the 1st 2 hours, then there it came after a vodka lime, I should be aware that I shouldnt be drinking any cold drinks but heck care when u're in the club and u're sweaty and sticky and dehydrated? This time I went with Huei Yien, Mindy, Sheila, her friend Vicky and a guy whom I dont know what his name is.

I hope I dont get anymore cramps tomorrow then I can happily enjoy my holiday til I go back to KL. Okay here comes some photos I took just now..Enjoy!!

Huei Yien & Joy

Huei Yien & Joy Again, changed sides

Huei Yien in Mcdonalds while waiting for Mindy to get fries

Joy trying to look YewWWw

Mindy getting her fries

Mindy putting fries in her mouth

Mindy & Huei Yien in Mcdonalds

After clubbing, A view of Darling Harbour with the 2 Darlings of mine

I think I gotta sleep now, my stomach is not feeling well...

Im off from Year 1!!

Exam's over, sounds like it has come to an end!! Everyone starts planning what to do for the rest of the days til we start packing and go back home. Its been 9 months since I am here in Sydney, its time go home and get pampered. Speaking of which, the day when my exam finished, I came home, moved some stuff to michael's room, was really exhausted on that day itself and also on the night before, lack of caffeine I supposed, been drinking too much Recharge for the past one week and cut down to 0 in a few hours, thats why my system couldnt take it.

I had 10 hours sleep on that night, I never get to sleep any longer for the past one month, everyday I will be worrying about exams, physics, maths, revision, etc..There were too much to think, and now? I can sleep as much as I want, think of what to eat when I get up, where to go, who am I meeting later. Haha Im so sorry for those who are still havign exams but reading my blog, I couldnt help expressing my feelings, I went through one whole month of nerdy life, Im trying to get myself fit back into the normal clubbing, chillin lifestyle!

We(Me, ShuXian, Carmen, Mindy, BeeLing, Jermaine, Zanli, YienVon, YienVon's cousin(Patrick), Keong, Jerry, Andrew, Joanna, Jade, Sophie) went Gas last night. I had 1 vodka sprite & 2 vodka shots before we left our place, then we got ourself a drink called qf(quick fuck), tasted really good, its kahlua, baileys and something else, issit miranda? I dun remember the name! I also had tequila shot and vodka redbull(it was a mistake, should have ordered vodka LIME instead). A mixture of everything started to give me the drowzy feeling, I knew it was time to DANCE!! but the DJ sucks and due to the hot weather, everyone didnt want to stay any longer in the club and we left the place at around 2+

Below are some photos taken last night..



Thats ZanLi & The Mysterious Me!!



This is ZanLi & BeeLing while waiting for others to come my room to Drink.



Thats Mindy & BeeLing



Thats Me & Mindy



This was taken in the club, it was too hot and all of us found the wall cooling so they sticked to the wall & I took a pic of it



Thats me trying hard to stick to the wall.



Thats me after we came back!!

We left the place at around 2 and wanted to go super bowl for supper, unfortunately, it was closed so Keong drove mindy, zanli, yien von and patrick to Wooloomooloo for Harry's Pie and we(Me, Jermaine, ShuXian, Carmen & BeeLing) went to Delifrance that was just across the road. We got home at about 4+ and I slept at 7 this morning because of RedBull again. I swear I will never drink that again.
til laterz

:: 8 days to be back to KL!!::

I've gone through the toughest subject of the year-Phys1003!!

OMG OMG OMG!! I really cant believe this! I've actually went through the paper!! Im soooo happy! I spent 1 month studying everything that was taught for one whole semester, I sacrifice my night just hoping to get a Pass. I think I might not fail, I answered 80% of the paper, which would lead me to 20+/90 in order to score 15 marks out of 60%. I have scored 37+/40 for my internal so I think it shouldnt be a worry. The last and only one battle, Math 1004, gonna put another 100% effort into it tonight and get rid of it tomorrow by 11am, by then I will be off from a 1st Year student (provided I dont fail any subs for this semester). Now I wish time flies twice as fast as the normal days, I wanna go have fun!! Ohh mann I cant wait til Thursday and Friday, I am gonna party real hard before I go back to Kay Elle, Gas/Cave and Sublime!! Gonna shake ya bodiee!! Whoopiee!!

::11 days to be back to the place where I belong--Kay Elle::

JOY!!STUDY!!!

Sigh, i should be motivated and start doing last bit of revision for physics, but my PMS is driving me nuts, making me feelin real tired. I guess it was also because the lack of "Recharge"! I think I will boost in 2 cans each day for the next 2 days, need to at least get myself really CHARGED and do well for exams.

Oh well I have been posting my chinese version love story on this forum, got lotsa feedbacks tho, everyone finds it so interesting, while I was typing them, I was reading my old diary, the one that really jots down every single thing that happens everyday and with my feelings added. I used to ask my room mate, how do u start writing a journal/diary? What should be in there? Silly huh, I never had the habit, but time flies, sometimes I just dont remember every single thing that happens, its always good to write them down, by the end of the day, with your words towards what had happened.

2 more weeks to go, and I'll be home, I cant wait to go back, I miss everyone back home, especially wei wei, the one and only one that has gone through so much shit with me. I miss the moment where we went to sing Karaoke, just the 2 of us, the moment where we spend hours and hours in Brewbal, the moment where we just lepak around in Sungei Wang without buying anything, and last but not least, all the yum-cha session where u drove all the way to my place to bring me out.

Let me try listing out what Im gonna do back home:

• Hair salon
• Dentist
• Shopping
• Char Kuay Teow, Ying Yeong, Hokkien Mee, Maggi Goreng, Limau Ais, Nasi Lemak, Bak Kut Teh, Seafood
• A Trip to Penang & S'pore
• Clubbing @ ZOUK
• Chill with Friends @ Coffee Bean
• go Cinema at least once a month
• play few hours of Pool in Brewbal
• sing K in RedBox
• check out Times Square
• Meet Sayfolians
• go Hartamas
• buy as much VCD as I can
• go Pasar Malam every Thursday
• meet up SUAMS people
• etc...

erm...16 of them, I just cant stop thinking about food, I just had ritz crackers, sigh, its soooooooooo pathetic, back home at midnight 3am my bro would wanna tapao maggi goreng for me! Down here in sydney, dream on..

Okays, better sleep now, sun is rising again and Im still in front of muh lovely laptop, better get my time back..

::13 Days to be back to muh cozy Room in Tmn OUG, Kay Elle::

chinese.cari.com.my/myforum is super addictive!!

Omg im so so addicted to the stories in that forum and i started writing a story about my ex & I too. Supposed to be studying last nite but I didnt do any shit, sigh!! Im feeling guilty, I think I will spend my one whole dya on physics, finishing the module at least! I wish I can do it!! hopefully!!

The Meaningful & Touching Stories of theirs...Here comes MINE!

Oh well, I spent like 2 hours reading this love story on a forum recommended by chin, a true love story of a couple who got to know from RO(Ragnarok Online) and it made me feel like writing my love story that ended on the 9th of septmber, year 2003. My LDR(Long Distance Relationship) lasted for 7 months and here's how it is..

I met him(mc) a year ago before I went to Toronto, Canada for my further studies, we were just the so called hi-bye friends who really dont talk much at all, it was due to the reason that I was closer to his best frd, Ah Dee. That was the only time we met before I went to Kay Elle after 1 yr and 3 months. So later on when I got back to KL, he so happen to work at Vincci, Sungei Wang, the place where I always go to to find nice and cheap stuff.

One day I was meeting my friends Sue & Vivien, Vivien & I arrived earlier so we told Sue to meet us at Vincci when she get there. While we were waiting for Sue's arrival, I looked into Vincci and saw this guy who looked so damn familiar and he was looking at me too. So I waved at him and we said Hi. Then he asked if I wanna join him for lunch later at around 4pm when he gets his break time. Not to forget to mention, Ah Dee worked at this CD store next to Vincci, I've already saw him before I met Vivien and we exchanged numbers.

We(Sue, Vivien & I) left that place and went somewhere else for lunch, then we played a few games of pool, at around 4+, Mc called, I told him I couldnt make it because my friends are all still there and I cant leave them. So at around 6pm, Sue and Vivien were going home, I decided to go Vincci to say good bye to him. He wasnt there when I walked pass Vincci so I went to Ah Dee's and surprisingly, I saw him there.

I felt abit awkward when I saw him because I hardly talk to him and I knew he was trying to be friendly so we chat a bit, remembering he asked me if I am dating anyone, he also asked if I wanna meet up anytime before I go back to germany for some tea but I didnt give him a right date for that because I knew I was gonna be hella busy on that week since I was going back on friday. I dun remember how did the conversation end, I left the place by then.

There comes tuesday, my mum had an appointment with the photographer in a studio/hair salon to take some family photos(their skill sux, it made us all look fat on those photo!), we got there early in the morning and the hair stylist cut my hair for me, apprently all my dyed hair were cut and I had to go back to the salon on Wednesday. After the appointment, I went to Sungei Wang again with my bros and I met him again, at Vincci, on that day we decided to meet up the next day because he told me he got a day-off for me so we can have fun on that day. I felt guilty when he does that(I still didnt have feelings for him by then) so I told him to stay home to wait for my phone call because he doesnt have a mobile phone and I cant contact him in any other way.

On Wednesday, I went to the salon at 130pm, got my hair done at around 530pm, he called me at 430pm to check if I was done but I told him to meet him there at 530pm. I rushed all the way from Petaling Jaya to Sungei Wang(I was fetched by my cousin of course) and I got there at 6pm. I didnt see him there so I decided to stay there for 30 mins and if he still doesnt appear then I'll join my cousins @ RedBox(Low Yat). Just right at 630, he came and we both went together to RedBox. After the singing session, my cousin sent me home and I realised that I have feelings towards him. I was feeling so shit, all my friends encouraged me to express my feelings and see how it goes, I was like, erm okay, if he rejects I dont think I am gonna see him anymore til next year. So I decided to tell him everything(Im a daredevil ehh!). I got him online, I told him I fell for him and eventually he also told me that he has feelings towards me BUT he doesnt wanna get together because of the distance between our place(OUG & Wangsa Maju). I thought it was lame so I told my friends and they came up with this lamer idea, which was to ask him to wait til I finish my Degree. I told him about it and he's like, yeah I would wait! Then my turn to be undecided, I think that was the lamest idea my friend ever gave me! I told him I will meet him for lunch tomorrow and we'll talk about it.

So on thursday, we had lunch and he was waiting for me to give him a reply. His look was sooo irresistable, it took me a whole 30 mins to say a "OK!". I was so excited, happy, he hold my hand..I felt really sweett..We went back to Sungei Wang to take Neo Prints since we didnt have a camera and we both wanted a picture of each another for remembrance. The stupid machine ran out of film and he had to leave to work, so I ended up taking photo alone and gave 1 to him.

Friday, the day which I had to leave to germany, he called me at 830am(before he goes to work) just to let me know that his lunch time's at 12pm so I could meet him there. Ah Dee's eyes went @.@ when he saw us holding hands, I guessed everyone thought I liked Ah Dee because I always hang around in his working place and talk crap with him and why would I end up with Mc? Hell knows...

I went home and gave him a call before I went to the airport, I felt really bad, just 2 days and I had to leave. He called me before I board and I know I am gonna miss him..ALOT!

Things turned out pretty good in the first few months except that we had a few disagreements like I couldnt take LDR anymore because its really tiring caused by the time difference and $$. For once he calmed me down and I gained confidence from him. Then again we argued because he wanted to work at pasar malam, I was being inconsiderate but it was too late when I realised my mistake, I knew he started to hate me so I was trying my best to not throw my temper on him. The second last time when I mentioned the phrase, Break up was pretty lame, U guys dont wanna know about it. After 3 times in 4 months, I think he got fed up, although no one mentioned about breaking up anymore, but we both know feeling faded..In the next 3 months, we hardly talk to each other, probably about once per week/2 weeks, it was the point where things were turning really bad.

On the day before I went to Paris, I asked him a few questions, his answer made me cry for 2 days, I was so depressed and I was crying when I was in Paris, couldnt stop thinking of what he has said to me. I went back to KL 2 weeks after Paris, I met him but everything was so strange, he acted so cold and I was really pissed at him. We knew(Or maybe he knew it earlier) that we aren't the right one for each other. Again I didnt want to make the decision so I sent him an sms asking if he still wanna give it a try on this relationship, or end it. He replied me by saying he still loves me and etc..I told him to get back to the point, I want the answer. When I saw his reply and it was "Lets break up", my heart cracks into pieces.

Haha, yeap that was the end of my love story, thanks to the contribution of my brain power, My diary & my fingers. What happen after I broke up with him was disaster, such as waking up 530am every morning that lasted for 1 1/2 months, hoping to see him around when I go shopping at any shopping mall. Basically I was quite mad about it but everything's over and Mc & I are still friends now, so a great ending will make a couple remain Friends!

Too much caffeine?

Guess what? I drank in total of 4 cans of Sprite Recharge from last nite til today. I am not sure if it really keeps me awake but I do know it containts caffeine in it. A can of it has about 66mg, so 4 times the value, I think I had too much, which is why I can still be so energetic after my 2 papers today.

I spent about 2 hrs changing the layout just now, I moved the sidebar(navigation bar) from right to left, changed the colours, font size..The codes are in CSS(Cascading Style Sheet that is, in case u dont know what CSS stands for), took me a while to figure out which is which. I love the way it looks now, black, white, red and pinkish, just soooooo me! I can be opposite like black and white, can also be like Pink, a little mixture of Red & White.

Okay I dont know what am I talking about, my next paper is on Tuesday, 16th November, that explains why I am still not doing anything now. I think I need a day to at least allow my brain to rest, been using too much brain and eye power for the past one week, its time to take a break(have a KIT KAT!).

I went IGA Express on King St. Newtown just now, bought this tit bits called PODS, its cruchy baked biscuit wafer with Snickers cream in the centre. There're 4 different chocolate fillings, Mars, Snickers, Twix & Bounty. I bought my favorite one --Snickers, the best chocolate ever! I swear its way much better than Tim Tams okay!

I have this strange urge for the past few days for instant noodles, so I also bought Maggi curry flavoured instant noodle and ate it for dinner! It tasted extremely yummilicious(yummy+delicious), it's probably because I havent been eating instant noodle for quite some time, thats why..Haha Im not a weirdo or what okay! I have been eating SUV's(Sydney Uni Village, the place where I stay) food for one whole week and I am really sick of it.

Speaking of which, SUV serves the same food everyday, they got a new chef and I wonder if he/she only knows how to cook those dishes, I can even list out the dishes they serve everyday, its Panang Curry Chicken, Thai Chilli Beef, Singaporean Noodle, Pad Thai, Thai BBQ Chicken, Vegetables with Tofu, other than that, they also have WonTon Soup, Beef Noodle Soup, Spring Roll with Vermicelli, Phom Pen Noodle Soup(i dont know if this is the right spelling but it sounds something similiar). They used to have Three Coloured Rice which is Pork Chop, Fried Egg, Cucumber, Tomato and some overcooked tasted rice noodle that comes with rice. They cancelled that, for some what reason(I dont know what), maybe someone complained about the overcooked taster rice noodle on it?

I think I am blogging quite often, in 2 days I already have 4 blogs, although some of them arent long enough, but yeh, maybe I just need to express my feelings and my thoughts that comes across my mind when I am alone in my room having thoughts about everything..

Okays this is going way too far, I think I am gonna end here..Thanks for reading all the crap I wrote above, took me 15 mins to write, I guess it takes less than 15 mins to read so u should also thank me for didnt make it any longer. It's just to entertain bored people(your people know who you are, whoever is reading, its YOU, YOU YOU!) *LOL*

3 down, 2 more to go..

I just had 2 papers today, one went alright but I think I flunk Integral, sigh..Now im thinking what should I do if I fail, summer school? I dont wanna do summer, it sounds pretty yuckie to me. I gotta start reading for physics and discrete maths, dont wanna fail these 2. I was wondering yesterday, why did I take 2 tough subjects as electives? I made a final conclusion for myself which is because I was undecided and made a wrong decision.

I figured my english is getting really bad, my grammar and vocab seem to be really poor, what ways are there to pump it up?? I dont think much people is reading my blog, I dont want everyone to read it anyways. Was meant to kept for myself, only people that I still have trust on will get to read this.

I dont know why am I writing this blog, nothing much is there to write about today. Hmm I just wish I can PASS Integral, 50 for finals will do, really..! Im gonna change the layout of this template, so it does look a bit different from the default one. So far I have added a TagBoard and changed some of the colours. Gonna decide wat else can I do..Sorry if it looks dull cuz I cant upload pics, the hello shit isnt working..hellz

-17 Days to be back to Kay Elle-

1 down, 4 more to go..

Yay..1 down, not sure if i did well but yeah...later I'll still have to spend the rest of the day working on Math1003 and Soft1002..having 2 papers on the same day is definitely not fun! I guess most of my friends are having these 2 papers on the same day too! Good luck to u people and bits to muhself too!! Okies I think i'd better take a nap before I knock out later because I only had 2 hrs sleep this morning, sigh...

-18 Days to go..back to Home Sweet Home-->Kay Elle!!-

9 hours to Elec1102 Paper

www.xanga.com/vinjoy has vanished from internet. Ithink I need a new start, for myself, for everyone. My first paper for this exam will commence in less than 12 hours time. Shits have been happening for the past one month but everyone who was involved promised to not bring it up again. At that point, I thought I was right, apparently everything I did was wrong. I have been asking myself the same question, how did all these happen?

For the whole 19 years of my life, shits like that had never ever happen, hereby I would also love to thanks those who accepted my apologise after the shit I have done to them. I was pampered, by my family, close friends and everyone around me. I didnt learn my mistake from the last incident and lately I repeated the same thing so in the end, I screwed myself. I was so childish, bitchy, annoying, and inconsiderate. For those who thinks Im a great friend to be with, please dont think that way, looks can be deceiving, there are so much of me underneath that I dont think I will reveal to anyone anymore.

I no longer trust anyone, and people around me dont trust me either. Im learning to get close to people yet I am afraid to try. The biggest mistake I have done ever since I came to sydney was trusting every single person around me. Trusting others aint a bad thing but when it comes to a point where the person is not trust worthy, u're in deep shit.

I wish not only me, but everyone who knows the shit that happened last month learn a lesson from it. It may look as if Im the only one who created the shit but have a deep thought about it, put yourself in my shoe, it's always easy for a person to say " yeh i wont do things like what she does", but when u're in the situation, everything isnt under your control and they just dont go the way u want it to be. Maybe it's the way I think, Im a chicken, a coward, who has no guts to confront people, been telling everyone that, but the reason behind it is because I think it hurts alot to a friend(especially a close friend) when u give it right on their face, people might disagree with this but thats what I have been thinking because if someone ever do that to me, I will feel pretty bad. Gaps in between will grow bigger and bigger as time goes by. A true friend might not act that way, but how many true friends are there in your life? To me, just 2, those are the ones who will really forgive me for everything I did.

Okay I think I'd better cut everything short and head to bed. My paper's @ 9:20am @ Wentworth Terrace Room. I hope things will go fine til exams end.