They don't understand

Many people don't understand my way of reacting when it comes to an argument.
"Speak up for yourself if you think you're right", they say.
"I am not good at words",
"I am a chicken/coward",
"I do not want to worsen the situation" are always what I say.

Not fighting for myself simply means I am trying to create a win-win situation.
Not so much of a winning on my side but if the end result makes the other party happy, I call it WIN.

How is that when you argue with your loved ones/close friends/family members,
you assumed them to take all your words, regardless whether it's harsh or cruel.
Human are impulsive, especially when you trigger their anger.
Words they use to express themselves, may not mean too much to them because they're blinded.
To the other party, it'll be like a stab into their heart and the scar remains.
What everyone is not aware of is that later when they say,
"I don't remember what I said".
It doesn't mean the other party will forget, It's a scar you carved into their heart.
A million times apology will not heal it and never would it.

Always remember, regardless of how fucked up the situation is..
Think twice before you say anything, you might just hurt someone, or anyone.

A mental note

Funny how things change so quickly.
In such a fast pace that I can never catch up with.
Always hold back your thoughts as they may be different when you next look at it.
I find it difficult to deal with what I visualize and hear.
Never have I really fancied the complexity of a person's life.

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So you think you're the only one left in the city.
You can't trust no one anymore.
This is a new chapter of your life.
When traumatized by anger and guilt has been a part of your life.
It is only the beginning.
Time to put down the past and move forward.
Live a life that you have dreamed of;
like there's no tomorrow, to its fullest.
Likewise, you can be a coward and escape.
Go somewhere and start fresh.
No history, no hates, no dramas.
One day you will wake up realizing the history repeated itself again.
Move on girl, take the challenge with you and fight for yourself.

Today marks the day for a change.
Things never will look the same again.
I don't look at myself the same way again.
With all that, it just makes me stronger.

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It's those times that you are satisfied with a matching lifestyle you have in mind,
you've gotta expect the unexpected.
I shall continue burying myself with this lifestyle;
I am starting to enjoy being alone, by the end of the day, the last thing that you will do is to hurt yourself.
Don't blame me for being cold towards anyone, that decision being made and I have got my guards on.
I just can't afford to pour my heart out no more.
The wound didn't heal, I just chose not to look at it.
Neither did it form a scar because it still hurt as much as how it used to be.