If only..

Been thinking, if only I can turn back time, I would still be the innocent nerdy gal who doesnt know shit at all..or I wouldnt even be in love with someone that wouldnt fit into my life at all, wouldnt have done so much in the past that leads me here now on this point of life now. So much of things I have done, I'm regretting but I know one shouldn't look back into their past. It's aint good but isnt there where u learn your lesson from?

Picked up with this shit after being in love, learn the feeling of missing someone, the feeling of desperately wanting to see someone, feeling miserable for the someone..more and more..I just cant list them all.

I just have this feeling to write all these out, have I been hiding my true feelings? Have I been the real person that I am meant to be? I used to live like a hypocrite, there was always a reason behind it, lets put it this way, I just wanted to be a nice person in front of everyone, but when both side found out, I will ended up being the bad one, I sometimes dont want to choose who to be my friends but my friends chooses it and I had to be so or I will be left out.

Is this how life is meant to be? Fit yourself into others life and live that way? Why cant others fit into mine and stay like me? It's unfair huh? The moment when we see the bright blue sky, the real world, that's always when we are all there on the ground..we're all in the materialistic world, with the cruel people around you, but not to worry as there're always some of them, say maybe 10 out of a 100 that are not as the people on earth.

I've recently bump into a few in my life, my real true friends..I really should thank god to give me such a chance to get to know friends like them...

Im runing out of words, my brain is not working quite well at this hour..maybe I should blog again some other time..

Caught Cold, Laptop Broke Down...What a Life!!

Yes, my laptop broke down since last Thursday, was pretty upset over it, how sad was I? Sleeping at 4am every night due to the stressful thinking I had every night about assignments and how I was gonna get all these things done as soon as possible.

So yeh, I got my friend to check my laptop on Friday, and was told that it could be the motherboard that died. Didnt really bother about it, was too shock over what happened. Drank with bunch of friends at Chin's place on the night, had great laugh on the night...

Was so not used to the life without computer in my room, no songs, no one to chat with and etc...sigh...was really bad...

Decided to go on a survey on the price on Tuesday evening, got all the prices and stuff and told myself to get the stuff asap! So again, couldnt sleep on Wednesday night, almost gone crazy with the zombie looking on Thursday and went alone to Capitol Square again to buy the stuff. Yay, got myself a Seagate 80gb SATA, Abit Motherboard, a casing and a Cd-rom. Few more stuff to get...Cant wait til I get back to the normal life again, Yeh Im sounding so abnormal I think...

God knows how I got sick again, woke up on this beautiful morning and had bad sorethroat, argh, I hate it so much! again, followed by flu and cough, gRrr....I guess I am on this bad luck time of my life...sigh...I dont know what I am typing...

I've lost it all, bad luck all on me...When will I get this over me??? *prays hard*!! If only god hear me!!

Swollen Left Eye

Slept around 4+ last night, almost five, took a nap and made myself a sleepless night again. Woke up this morning, could barely open my left eye, look into the mirrow and went..OH FUCK!! What the hell is this?? How am I going out with my swollen eye that look as if I've got punched in my dream?

And yes, forced to go uni because I have INFO2110 quiz today, did pretty well, quite satisfied after the tutor discussed the answers. Heh!! Got my results back for quiz 1 and System analysis assignment, scored 2.8 out of 5 for my quiz and 3.6 out of 5 for the assignment.

Got home and started doing a bit of revision for German test on wednesday, knowing that I might not be able to have time for it tomorrow. So yeah, went out for dinner at 630pm with bunch of friends to celebrate Yien Von's 21st. We went to Seoul Ria, this korean restaurant near chinatown and had Spicy chicken hotpot and Seafood combination hotpot. Due to my swollen eye, my friends first wanted to order something not so poisonous but I thought it would be a little selfish to make everyone eat something like that for me so in the end we still ordered seafood hotpot. I am just praying hard that my eye wont go worse tomorrow morning when I get up.

Walked home from chinatown because everyone ate too much and decided to have a walk so that the food digests. Got home around 10 and the stupid dodgy uni server just wouldnt allow me to get online. So then MinLi and I went to this convenience store to get prepaid internet card. I needed to go online badly to talk to my friend about my assignment that's due tomorrow.

Spent my 1 1/2 hour testing my codes and start seeing things that I hate the most--ERRORS! Yucks..Again, was called by a friend to go down to Yien Von's place to cut cake, went to her place for about 30 minutes and rushed home to get my stuff done.

Finally got my code working by copying my friend's tester code, but there are still some minor errors in it. Cant be bothered because the codes are due on wednesday anyway! So then spent another 1 1/2 hour changing my tester and stuff. PHEW I said!! Just typing all these shit off before I go to bed..That's what I call a day...

Casino is EVIL PLACE!!

Why that topic? I just donated AUS115 dollars to StarCity, Sydney on last friday! *Cries out loud*

Good news, I've been sleeping well since last night, knocked out from 2am til 12pm, got woken up around 745am to go jogging but couldn't make it. Then again I slept around 6+pm til 8pm! Woke up to read up some stuff for INFO2110 quiz later at 2pm!

Partly it's because I am 80% done with my COMP2160 Assignment, and I sorta understand INFO2110 Lectures better than COMP2160, I have in mind that I am left with GRMN1111 to deal with for this week, I feel relieved! The rest, I could only blame it on PMS! The thing that drives my mood up and down once in a month, does not sound good ey? Yes I know but what to do??

It was Mother's Day yesterday, called to Granny's house to look for all the mothers. I assumed she would be there because it's a tradition where each year all the mothers with gather there with their children and celebrate. But it no longer has so many children in the house because most of us are overseas and cant make it to celebrate with them. Wished my granny, my mum and my cousin then talked abit to my mum and hung up!

I miss home, I wanna be pampered, I cooked my meal for tomorrow just now around 1+am, I am broke, cant afford to buy food in uni so I have to bring my lunch to uni! While I was cooking, I just wish I am at home, get my maid to prepare some food to bring to school like the old times...

Surfed this site called www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com, something I would recommend my friends to see if u hate fastfood or intend to be vegetarian for the next few weeks. It basically shows how they treated the animals before they slaughter them. They video-ed the whole process, quite scary..I decide to not eat so much meat after watching it. Don't have more to write..Gotta catch some sleep! class at 9am tomorrow! Nites!!

Death of a gal

I am certified death at this stage of my life! I dont sleep well, eat well neither study well. These are a few reasons why I call myself a dead person

• I attempt to sleep at 230 and ended up sleeping at 5am without having even a drop of caffeine in me.
• I eat so much more than I usually eat and not gaining weight still.
• I thought I would score for INFO2110 Labtest(MS Access) but I screwed the form just 10 minutes before I had to stop doing.

Yes and yeh those were what happened. I've never been like this. It's just too much!! Part of the workload are gone but my brain is 2 times as tense as before. Why is it so? I really need an answer...

Wonders...

I've heard 3 bad news on the same day..People around me all having problem with their boy friends, these 3 people are all very close to me and I feel very sad for them. I dont wanna hear anything bad anymore, I've got enough of it!

Fell asleep while I was reading last night, woken up by a phone call of a friend, crapped abit, wanted to go back to bed @ 2am but was wide awake so I read on some stuff on the text book again! Gained some knowledge! I am happy! Thought it would be too late if I dont go to sleep at 3am because I have a early 9am class on Wednesdays morning. So yeh, went to bed and walked into dreamland ard 3+, nearly 4 I guess.

As usual, could not make it for the morning lecture again! Haha!! Went Newtown Thai for lunch with Bernard and Chin, trying to stuff myself with food and more food! Had a ice chocolate at this hidden coffeeshop next to SUV, it's called CAMPOS, not too bad but nothing too special, not as what Chin said, it's probably the coffee that he meant is nice!

German's getting no where..learning more and more stuff but does not seem to remember what I have learned in the past! So much more to learn! I wish to score a High Distinction, or at least a Distinction for this! I'm trying to make myself happy but I am in the depression stage where nothing gives me happiness. Doing one thing and having my mind on the next thing that I've gotta worry about. It's too much!!

I wanna go home! I miss the life where I can just wonder around, need not to think of what I've gotta do for the next minute or even seconds. I hate planning yet I am forced to do that, gotta start planning my study plan from now til exam time! I'd better read off more stuff than leaving them all in a chunk and stress myself like a mad gal the week before exam. It's 1 month and 2 weeks til exam commences! I am now well motivated but I wanna enjoy myself too!

Since when have I stopped drinking like last year? Since when did I make the decision to go somewhere else other than clubbing? Weren't those part of my life for the past few years? Has my mentality grown up by a bit from the past? Or it's just the stressful life I am having now? I need an answer...

I need luck from everyone!!

Try imagining this..Gaining 3 kgs and lose it in just a week, how could that be? Yeah I asked myself the same question too! I have no idea what is wrong in me, I cant cope with my work again like what I did for the past god knows how many years. I should put myself in a more relaxing mood, not to be so tensed but I just cant do it..Prolly eating more could cure my tension(ness)..hahaa

I have 2 more chapters to go for COMP2160 and a few more point about MS Access to pick up for this week's COMP2160 quiz and INFO2110 Assessed Lab..Wish me Luck!!

Stressed!

I am all stressed out! I have 1 assignment , 1 quiz and 1 labtest this week, much more piling up after these! Sigh..Who is there to help?? *screams* Im really desperate for peer pressure! Bla..Exam time table is out! My papers are pretty well arranged to dates I am satisfied with! 20th, 23rd, 27th of june and last paper on last day of exam, which falls on the 1st of July. 2 days break after each paper..If i start studying now I should be able to score I supposed.

Should I go Starcity or Gas NightClub this friday? I'd better get my work done then think about it!! Gotta start reading for COMP2160, dont wanna fail once more, I've had enough, it really put me down...

YES JOY's GONNA WORK HARD NOW!! HOORAY!!