It's all about life eyy??

Tried to sub the word ~The End~ to part of my life now, damn stress over lotsa things, the crying season is back, a good way to release everything I felt and not happy with, with my tears everything will be out from my body, my life, my mind, although its temporary but human are made from flesh and blood, so who doesn't cry out loud when they feel like it?

Well at least I am on the majority side, I express myself this way, laugh when happy, quiet when I have things in mind and when I am hiding things from people, cry when I cant take it anymore, in other words, when I am about to explode, if there's a way where I can keep myself in a box and not bother about what is happening outside my own world, I would keep myself in it..forever and ever, at least for now, I wish there's something like that because I cant seem to escape from what's happening with my life.

Life's all about challenging new stuff, living with people that you cant tolerate, all that crap, wonder why was I born to live as human? If I were to choose to be an animal, I wonder what would I choose to be..Maybe I shall learn to see what life is all about, face what I am supposed to face and live with it. But I am not happy to live this way, yes I am contradicting myself again, but heck cares, not like I know what I am typing also..

Just had 2 glass of vodka, first with 4 caps of vodka+ half glass of soda lemonade, second one with 5 caps and same amount of lemonade, more to come for tonight, I wanna be high high high alone again! can get good sleep after that, hopefully no hangover! heh!!

Shall blog again some other time..ciaoz

To my other 6/7..

I know sometimes what I do doesn't make everyone happy and feel comfortable with, for everything that happens, there's sometimes a reason(mind you i'm using the word sometimes, not always)

I dont know since when I started picking up all these things, I thought it was cool, but once you're into it and it doesnt seem as cool but u just cant live with it, been told many times but it's not that I dun take those as advice, I know I've been giving too much excuses and you guys have gave up on telling me again, I feel very sorry to dissapoint you guys each time but if in the future years I happen to leave all those behind, you guys' words will always be the first in my mind to be remembered.

I know as close friends of you peepz, you dont want to see me going forever like this, I know you guys want me to be good, I listen each time when you guys tell me to not live with that anymore, I will never say a thing like I can promise this and that, I cant make any promises at this moment, I dont want to break the promise,at least not the one I make with you guys, aight? I dont speak doesn't mean I dont care, I care but I hope you guys will allow me to live like this for this period of time, at least you still see the happy me right? I know all these might sound abit lame to you or whatsoever..but yeh, thats all I wanna sayy..

Anything else, question me personally..heheh!

So yesterday after NCG Games, we helped out abit for the AGM and ciao-ed the place around 9+..went to Vbar with some kick off with the dudes from Queensland..Those people are hardcore drinker man!

Had Long Islang Tea, Malibu Coke, QF, Tequila, Chartreuse, Some Black colour drink and Shark Bite(consists of tequila, JD and Chartreuse), Yikes!!

Took damn alot of crazy photos but will post them up slowly if I have the time..hehe!!

Woke up this morning and felt a pain in my stomach, got blardee diarrhea..dammit....consumed too much alcohol I guess..

Gonna party again tonight! yayyy!! After this gonna be study time for the next few days, too much work to be work on..Arghh!!

laterzz

Long long day today...few more days to go, holidays just started but not seem to have those party part kinda fun. Drank again last night, do the usual things, drink, drank, drunk, throw up, sleep! How fun! *LOL*

Volunteered to help out for NCG Games today, everyone else around me is either volunteering or playing, I might as well join them majority right, just dont feel like staying at home all alone doing nothing where all my bestest friend will be doing damn alot of things.

Just another bit of lyrics I wanna post on for today to end my blog..here u go..Westlife-If your Heart's Not In it

I'm missing you

Girl even though you're right here by my side

Cause lately it seems

The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me

But baby sometimes

You're just saying the words

If you've got somethin' to tell me

Don't keep it inside

Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

Girl I'll make it easy for you

If your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time

But it's gone too far now we can't rewind (And there's nothing that I can do ,to stop me losin' you)

I can't make you change your mind (If your heart's not in it)

If your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

Balloon bursts too when you give it too much air!

Everything has its own limit, when something reaches its extent and nothing more it can do to change the result, it might just die out..

The same theory applies to human as well, nah I don't mean myself, just generalising this for all human being..

A big shout out to Winnie in Perth, Australia, thanks for all the carings and all!!

I shall be tough enough to face life myself, I wish I wont fall again..:)

Start of a day ---> End of the day

Things I have done today...

• Bought new bag from COUNTRY ROAD that makes me feel blardee broke now
• Chipped in for MinLi's late bday pressie again makes me broke..
• Ate KFC Twister makes me feel fat although I am already fat
• Gone through the pain I have to go through each month makes me feel like dying
• Studied for GRMN1122 test makes me wiser!
• Late and skipped some classes makes me slacker
• Non-stop repeating Exiles-Maybe makes me sadder(if there's such word)
• Drank 2 cups of Black Sesame dessert makes me fatter
• Blogged on Our Baby's site makes me happier
• Took 3 hours nap makes me pigger(if there's such word again)
• Copied some photos into my computer makes me happierrr
• Drank a bit of mushroom soup makes me fatterrr
• Swallowed 2 pain killers makes me feel better from all the pain(physically & mentally(I wish))
• Talked on the phone with winnie makes life goes upside down because too happy!
• Thought about lotsa stuff that I think I should keep them into a box soon makes me feel sadder but its gonna make life goes easier!

p/s: The list above doesnt go in order...

Last but not least..quoting 2 lines each from the 2 songs I've been listening

"Maybe its wrong to say please love me too cause I know you never do, somebody else is waiting there inside for you" - Exiles-Maybe

"Maybe its wrong to love you more each day cause I know he's here to stay" - Exiles-Maybe

"Somehow find You and I collide" - Howie Day-Collide

"Even the best fall down sometimes" - Howie Day-Collide

These stuff should end my day..I should head to bed!!

Having my own chill out session in my room, happens once in a while but not very often..drink when I feel like it, go to bed when I think I've reached the level when I feel numb and cant take it anymore..part of life maybe..I dont know when I start to drink alone, dont know when I started enjoy drinking alone, without anyone bothering me, just sit down here all alone and have a few glass myself..

Called my bestest friend- winnie, had one long conversation with her, about everything. ups and downs..things that cant be expressed, but she seems to know what I wanna say..Wanna thanks to her to be by my side all the time, all the time when I need someone who I can really talk to..Not to say I dont appreciate my friends here in Sydney but I just feel more comfortable talking to her, prolly because I've known her for quite some time and she knows me way much better.

okays I am way too high to type anything more...shall end here!!=]]

Wonderpool Dae

Woke up late, dont know what time I went to bed last night also, remembering going into bed in pissed off mood..urgh! but nevertheless, these made my day today!!

Situation 1:
Been playing Howie Day- Collide again and again, chatting away with minli, chin and von on msn..then i see this msg..

*flamingirezumi ~ stop the shit. says:
the dawn is breakinggggggg

*flamingirezumi ~ stop the shit. says:
a light shining throughhhhhh

*flamingirezumi ~ stop the shit. says:
you're barely wakinggggg

At first I thought why minli typing something random? then I burst out laughing when I hear the song again, she typed it while that part is sang! LOL!

Situation 2:
This msg from my bro:

«¤§¦üf€!f€!¤» says:
u read the ths precisely..

«¤§¦üf€!f€!¤» says:
对不起，我不小心把邮件簿删了，不知道你是谁？你是沈晶冰吗？还是刘茫或秦寿？难道你是梅仁兴？如果都不是那你一定是朱投，朱投！！

Love these people heaps! See how my day can be so wonderful with them around..haha!!

Would like to say a big thank you to everyone who made ADND a success! Screw the cacated projector, everything was all good!

ADND's over, everything back to normal, I got elected as Social Director for year 2005-2006. Happy yet unhappy, shits happen, thats life isnt it? Gotta live with it and challenge it.

Knocked Out for 11+ hours after the night, havent got the chance to sleep so much ever since god knows when. It's Mid-autumn festival today, I miss the childhood times when we get to buy all colourful lantern, play a whole night with it without worrying anything.

Still have lot more work to do, piles of book to read, if only I have more time a day and get to stay energized 24 hours a day.

I dont care how other people look at what has been happening, I am gonna live with it! Wish me luck for my year ahead!
-7:01pm 18th Sept-

later entry..

Celebrate mid autumn festival with friends just now, had mooncake, yummilicious! WTF is wrong with these people having problem thats not related to them? Screw it la okay! Shut their blardee mouth and give us some peaceful days to live with, aightt!?

Sigh, damn blardee undecided with what to wear for ADND this year, dammit! I dont like this current situation! urgh!! Kill me!! Im starving like crazy but I have to go on with my Intensive diet plan, I have to lose at least 3 kgs to look good on that night! Oh hellz!!! *screams*

Party has always been fun, went to gas last night, was still quite sober towards the end. SUAMS AGM was on last thursday, I am running against 2 person, I doubt if I will get it, I wish I could!

Speaking of partying, last night was so so fun, took damn alot of photos, did lotsa crazy things, haha..Not very happy since winnie left, just started to get used to the days when no one's in my room, the days when I can talk to her every night before I sleep, Okay! I sound like a lesbian, she's just one great friend of mine, dont think too much!

Oh wells she's the one that reads what I think, the one whom I can share everything in my heart with, the one whom I can complain to and get opinions from..Its so difficult in life to find such friend, I am meeting a few here in sydney..Time will tell, I believe!

4:35am, I should be in bed..